Small Widget Spot

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Small Widget Spot
March 11, 2009

vituperating vitter

vituperating vitter
By

after reading about senator david vitter’s latest bout with bad behavior (he’s a naughty little boy, for those who aren’t aware), i dashed off a quick note to him via his senate site.

subject: your behavior

yo davy:

i heard about your unfortunate episode at the airport last week and thought i’d offer a couple of pieces of advice:

  1. read those guidelines the airlines publish, particularly the one about arriving for your flight at least two hours before departure. surprisingly, they apply to all travelers, including self-righteous assholes who hold public office and are members of the party that created so many fake ‘terror’ threats for political reasons that the entire security system is now bogged down with unnecessary and expensive routines.

  2. if an airline employee doesn’t recognize you from your cute little ‘senator’ pin, just tell them you’re the republican guy who likes to pretend he’s a family man and a good role model for his three daughters while paying for sex with hookers who let you wear diapers. that will help differentiate you from the republican senator who likes to troll for anonymous blow jobs in airports. i know, i know: it’s hard to keep up with all of you hypocrites, but most people are pretty sharp and will be able to remember your particular set of identifying characteristics if just reminded of them.

  3. stop giving louisiana a bad name with your unfortunate behavior. it would be one thing if you actually did something worthwhile for the fine folks of your great state to offset your antics. but barring that unlikely occurrence, it’s probably best that you follow the lead of that classic cartoon character, snagglepuss, (oh the irony) and “exit stage left!”

all my best,

a business-owner/husband/father/musician/voice actor living in san francisco with a wife and three boys

Comments

  1. litmus
    March 11, 2009

    yeah, yeah, i know that it’s only an hour before departure for domestic flights. and yes, i realize that senators are busy people. but aren’t you too? i know i am and i don’t arrive 20 minutes late for my flight and expect anybody to do anything about it.

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